Dreamland

Twenty-five years ago today I stopped being an only child and became a big sister. Happy birthday, Ryno! We had a lot of great times growing up. We shared a bedroom at our first house and would stay up late making human bridges between our beds. Then, when we moved, we created tree forts and Rollerblade ramps and tents out of Dad's paint tarps. For several years I was also really mean to him. I am not proud of who I was for that, and I can't explain it. Sibling rivalry/squabbles, but also truly mean sometimes. He was an easy target, being younger than me, and I guess it made me feel powerful. I hate having to admit that I gleaned power from putting someone else down, but I wasn't the best big sister sometimes. I try to make up for it now by encouraging him to find his path and follow his dreams. I've stopped calling him names, too, so there's that ;)

En route to the babysitter this morning Norah and I had a great conversation about dreams. I explained to her that our brains house all of our memories and information and that while we sleep random bits are thrown forward, making us dream. She had a nightmare about Scooby Doo, which we talked through a bit. I had a dream about a grungy biker guy (reminiscent of Justin Bobby from "The Hills") trying to kiss me. I kept that dream to myself.

I've always been fascinated with trying to deciper the meaning or cause behind dreams. I think our subconscious minds sort through a lot while we sleep; I try, when I can, to pause for a moment upon waking and remember as many details of my dreams as possible. Anxiety I didn't know was festering has been discovered this way; guilt, sadness, anticipation, or just plain nonsense can be determined, too. I don't know if last night's bad boy interlude signifies unsown oats (too late now... no biker boys for me!) or worry that I've done something for which I should apologize. Sometimes dreams are beyond our comprehension. I find that that fact makes them all the more powerful. Writers comb the world around them for inspiration, insight into the human character, a trigger for enlightenment. Dreams are an endless brainstorm for me, and I think I should start recording and sifting through them more often. Maybe a grungy Justin Bobby will figure in my to-be-written novel.

Justin Bobby... oddly similar to dream guy

As the new school year approaches, I'm also beginning a new venture. I'm not ready to announce just yet as little to nothing has been accomplished, but encouragement and prayers are welcome. The new and unknown can be so scary and intimidating, but that's no reason to fight for what you want. I'm going after it, uncertainty and fear in tow. Hopefully I can remember to dance in the face of whatever obstacles come my way. In the immortal words of Maurice Sendak, "Let the wild rumpus begin!"