Wildly Ever After: Who you calling buttface?

Zach and the kids are watching "ParaNorman" right now while dinner cooks. Losing an hour today has definitely screwed with our schedule. Luckily, Norah went to a three-hour birthday party this afternoon and ran and screamed enough to tire her out properly. I've been grading my students' mini poetry portfolios, baking cookies, doing laundry, and finding every random task to be done around the house. It's basically impossible for me to sit down and just grade for any period of time. You'd think I'd use my plan period more efficiently and grade like a maniac in a quiet, empty classroom, but by fourth hour I'm dying for some caffeine, a brain break, or have cleaning/organizing/copying to do that takes precedence. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--someone needs to find grading fairies and send one my way. I'd like a spunky girl fairy if I get a choice. She could sit on my shoulder during class and say the snarky comments I so often think into my ear. And she could grade. Obviously.

This has been one of those weekends where we haven't done a lot, but it feels like we've been really busy. I think that's called normal family life. We took Levi to a kids' hair salon yesterday for his second official haircut. His hair is stick straight and grazes his ears and neck; I thought I could trim here and there and keep up with it, but he sees scissors and immediately turns into a flapping bird. We thought the salon would distract him--it's a kids' dreamland. Locks of Fun in Valparaiso (check out their cute site here) features vehicles for seats, individual televisions with choice of cartoons, a Dum-Dum distraction, and a post-cut snack of popcorn and juice box. Levi dug the joint, but he did not enjoy any sort of combing/cutting/wetting/general movement near his left ear. We even plied him with dual Dum-Dums to occupy both hands and that still wasn't enough. Dad had to hold his head still while I wielded his sticky sucker-holding hands. He never really cried though, just alternated between his newly acquired Gremlin growl and screech owl call. He may not be verbally communicative, but he's certainly vocal. Here's the boy:

Before any weapons were wielded, he did some cruising.

Punk

His best James Dean

The theme for this post came to me during dinner last night. Norah was telling me about a recent recess where two of her girl friends wouldn't play with her. According to her version, she walked up to them normally to ask if they wanted to play, and one of the two said, "You're being a real buttface today. We don't want to play with you." Norah was hurt (no one likes being called buttface) and confused, because she couldn't figure out what she'd done wrong. I tried to explain to her that A) girls are moody and sometimes choose to ostracize someone just because they have the power to and B) we often treat those we love the worst. I told her how horrible Uncle Ryan and I used to be to each other when we were kids, and Zach said he and Ug (his brother's weird uncle nickname) would get in wicked fights, too. It really made me think about the nature of friendships and frenemies. Why is it an accepted truth that kids are sometimes mean to each other? Why did both Zach and I kind of brush away the fact that siblings fight? If I had been truly present during the conversation I could have used it as an opportunity to teach her how things should be instead of just how they are. I don't want my children to scream, "I hate you!" and slam their bedroom doors, no matter how aggravated they are at one another. I don't want Norah to make anyone feel left out at school. I don't want her to pick up the habits of calling her friends buttface, or any other negative term for that matter. It's sort of like how some older girls call each other bitch because they're "reappropriating the term." That doesn't work for me. I don't want to be called a bitch ever. There's a huge difference between a strong, confident woman who knows herself and what she deserves and a bitch. One of my coworkers and close friends falls on the former side of that distinction; she is tough but loving, organized and firm but creative and fun, and for anyone to call her a bitch is an insult. I aspire to be more like her, so if that makes me a bitch wannabe, so be it, but I think she's amazing. And strong and confident and put together AND nice. Those things are not mutually exclusive, and I am going to try to instill that in Norah as she continues to brave the playground.

The whole buttface debacle of 2013 also reminded me of my own recent name-calling experience. For the sake of preventing further gossip and unnecessary drama, I'm going to be intentionally vague. Let's just say someone from our past has an issue with our present and continues to run his or her mouth all over town about us. The problem is this town (like most) isn't that big, and people talk. A lot. Inevitably we have many people in common with this trash-talker who then in turn talk to us about the talk. Most of the time it's laughable, particularly because this person acts as though our existence is a non-issue. Clearly it's not if we play such a huge role in this person's mind. For my own comfort, I'd like to request that my name be removed from this person's mouth. As always, however, Zach advises that we continue to ride the high road and not give this person anything more. It's sad to me that buttface-ing does not go away with age. The specifics are unclear (and don't really matter) but I do know a "she sucks at life" was uttered. Really? That's the best you can do? My "bitchy" coworker and I have turned that into a mantra when we're having bad days. I tell her she sucks at life when something isn't going right and then we laugh it off and move on. Petty people just aren't worth the energy it takes to confront them. I still don't like name-calling, but I guess a life-sucker is better than some things I could have been called.

Here's a photo dump from the last few months. I hadn't realized it'd been so long since I'd used my camera, but there are some gems from Leslie and Alex's weddings, Levi's second Christmas, and Norah's first year as a cheerleader. Enjoy the wild life, and try sucking at life (but not name-calling).

The bridal party for the Martinsen wedding (bride is centered with blue zip-up)

Halloween. Duh.

Norah's 6th bithday!

Norah's first "friends party", with buddy Bella

Probably the best gift ever--this accompanied a framed and autographed photo of Johnny Depp and came wrapped with twine just like a pirate would do it.