Ask my husband what I like to watch on TV, and he'll likely say, "Crap." Being a woman, I enjoy shows meant for women, and most of these tend to be rather inane. I spend the school year on high brain alert, constantly thinking, planning, grading, instructing, and changing those plans and instructions on a dime. When I get a chance to take a mental break, I really go for it--television is meant to be an escape, and I dive in to my shows headfirst. After a long week, the more dramatic and ridiculous the show, the better. I am a particular sucker for Bravo and its endless "Real Housewives" chronicles. Just yesterday I was catching up on the new season of NYC, and one of the husbands (who very rarely get a word in edgewise) said something that really resonated with me. Say what you mean, but don't say it mean.
That's a perfect mantra to follow when one wants to be successful without sacrificing relationships or integrity to do so. I've long struggled with a fear of confrontation, and I've been known in the past to let myself be walked on, but in the last few years I've made a lot of progress in standing up for myself and learning to speak my mind. I've discovered that it's liberating to get things off my chest rather than let them fester. I always feel better getting an emotion out somehow, be it through journaling, late-night discussions with my husband, or a long chat over coffee with a good friend. That same idea has proven to do wonders in my career as well. Rather than sit quietly and watch when someone says something with which I disagree or misuses authority, I speak up. I say what I mean, but I try to do so in a constructive way.
One of my master's courses began with a color typing quiz. After answering several multiple choice questions about how I would respond in different scenarios and analyzing pictures and words that represent my belief system and aspirations, I was deemed one of four colors. I was of the second smallest group, the Golds. Golds are known as perfectionists, control freaks, and planners (I was always the "mom" in my group of friends); organized, responsible, and logical thinkers; and structured learners. I had hints of blue (compassionate, loyal, caring) and orange (outgoing, fun-loving, opinionated), but I found myself to be pretty solidly gold through and through. My professor, a gold herself, found our group to be the most reliable when it came to mediating class discussions. I somehow became the Gold spokesperson and was expected to play the foil to some of the Oranges' outlandish ideas. Learning to work with that many disparate personalities while still getting my ideas across really taught me the meaning of that New Yorker's saying. By learning to say my piece without alienating, offending, or hurting others, I have become a stronger, more successful woman, and I've established some fantastic friendships along the way.
My mother-in-law once told me that criticism is often given because it makes the giver feel better about herself. Learning to believe that has helped strengthen my sense of self, and choosing to speak up without speaking down to people has served me well every time. I hope to teach my students this pearl of wisdom, as well. We can embrace individuality and share our opinions without insulting one another. It's so easy, but so powerful. I guess my silly "crap" shows aren't totally vacuous (but let's be honest--they mosty are!).
In mama news, today Levi is 7 months old! I know it's cliche, but I honestly cannot believe how fast he's growing. He can army crawl like a pro, he's become increasingly attached to Mommy and Daddy, and he has discovered the fun of sucking on lemon wedges at restaurants. Last night we had family pictures taken in New Buffalo along Lake Michigan, and he was such a good sport. Norah had a blast screaming up and down the beach with her cousins, and all 13 of us headed to Oink's afterward for some delicious ice cream (Red Velvet Cake for me.) Ashlie Ostergren took the gorgeous photos--check her out at http://avophotography.wordpress.com/.
I'm off to juggle one of the three books I'm currently reading (The Vanishers, The Naked Mom, and Fifty Shades Freed) and *hopefully* squeeze in a workout.
Happy wild life!
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